How Two wrongs Can Make a Right

After trotting through the desert a few score years, pretty dehydrated, and tired, we received our Bible. We called the day we got it a name, Shavuot.

A few thousand years later my front suspension was recovering from the cheese blintz I'd eaten on that festival, and I was cursing the bloody Americans for adding obesity to my already stretched Jewish holiday requirement.

My destination on this day was a learning session organized by a local kiruv organisation and I was in the mood for controversy.

A little man with a little beard and large spectacles was sitting awaiting some new customers, he was shuffling some sheets nervously upon which he had scribbled, there is a G-d, there is a G-d.  

Next to him sat Philip. He was going to break him.

Philip, is an interesting gentleman, of mixed Irish, South African and G-d knows what descent, he was brought up to have an attitude of total scepticism towards any clerical authority whatsoever, even from his own religion.

Philip sports orangey hair oval spectacles, and a constant scowl, sometimes he smiles.

On this rare occasion, Philip seemed to have been blessed with a partner. I bounced to the table eagerly and the Rabbi beamed, Philip frowned.

'Lets talk about Shavuot', said the Rabbi.

I nodded.

'Hrmph', said Philip

'We all know that there must have been a reason for us to receive commandments…'

We tensed.

'Its like a marionette..' Oops.

'Nononono' muttered Philip, head bent and shaking in frustration.

'It not like a marionette.'

The Rabbi looked up concernedly and then checked his sheets, they hadn’t told him this about this customer.


I decided to put some sugar in the stew.

'It's like the matrix' I cooed.

Philip grinned.

'Ah yes the matrix', said the Rabbi. 'I've heard of that example before'.

Ooooh.

I began explaining the ins and outs of Morpheus and his comrade Neo as the Rabbi earnestly looked with puzzlement and Philip giggled.

'Neo wants to marry the girl, but is mixed by a sense of conflict about saving the world'.

I tried hard to hold myself, but the seams in my mouth, they burst, and out flowed a barrage of rubbish, which Yoshke would be ashamed of.

Philip at this point was rocking back and forth on his chair and was getting commenting stares from all sides, of which he didn’t care. He was in his element.

I decided to end it by finishing as Philip was choking on his Laffy Taffy.

'So you see, the pill WAS blue… and the right one..'

The Rabbi stared emptily. G-d forgive me.