Lorraine was revealed to me at a friends do. And a revelation it was. If you can imagine long raven black hair, a perfect smile, languorous brown eyes, and a pretty pear shaped chin. No? Ah well. She was staring at me, because I was staring at her and we'd decided to keep our eyes fixated to see who would give up first, that’s what attracted me to her aside for the raven hair ect ect. She was a competitive one.
I approached her and gave her the old 'how youuu doin' only the 'you..' was cut short by the old 'cut the crud and state your business'. She was feisty this one. And I liked it. We discussed various philosophical issues, and when that didn’t work, because she was a girl, we moved on to films which did work and got me on the fast lane to the cinema question.
I told her I’d pick her up at 7, and picked her up at 8, to make her understand I wasn't an easy cookie to chew but quite a pleasant one, once you got to the chocolate chips. The rain poured outside and as I arrived I gave her a cursory nod; after I had adjusted the radio for a few minutes, I let her in. I faffed with whatever I could faff with whilst she shivered, and then I let her have it. I threw my ego at her from all sides, me this, I that, in short I moi'd till I was purple. That certainly warmed her up. After a long moi'ing session, we lay back exhausted, had a post-egus cigarette and serenely admired each other in wearied adulation. I murmured 'I love you, loving yourself' she cooed 'I’ve fallen for your love, of yourself'. We had decided on watching the film about the geek with the scratch who defies all other geeks, and is good at shaking a wand.
I told her I’d pick her up at 7, and picked her up at 8, to make her understand I wasn't an easy cookie to chew but quite a pleasant one, once you got to the chocolate chips. The rain poured outside and as I arrived I gave her a cursory nod; after I had adjusted the radio for a few minutes, I let her in. I faffed with whatever I could faff with whilst she shivered, and then I let her have it. I threw my ego at her from all sides, me this, I that, in short I moi'd till I was purple. That certainly warmed her up. After a long moi'ing session, we lay back exhausted, had a post-egus cigarette and serenely admired each other in wearied adulation. I murmured 'I love you, loving yourself' she cooed 'I’ve fallen for your love, of yourself'. We had decided on watching the film about the geek with the scratch who defies all other geeks, and is good at shaking a wand.
The man at the office scrutinized me closely as I over nonchalantly told him I was a student, and did some more scrutinizing after looking at my rather expensive looking (yet inexpensive) watch. He asked us what film we want to see,
'Harry potter, MAN'…
Immediately he began beaming at us like an S.O.S signal on coke
'Ooh cool dude'.
Yess. I'd decrypted the student code. We bought slush puppy’s that tasted more like Grand retrievers and entered the cinema, choosing a seat as far away from the yobbo make-out station at the top. After making ourselves comfortable, I started sipping. At first it was just a sip, sip, sip. Then the sipping started to get mushy and it developed into a shhhhhip, shhhhhhip.
' WHO'S F***N SHHIPPIN?' boomed a strong Salfordian voice from the cinema make out yard.
'IF I HEAR ANOTHER SHHIP..' the threat could not be completed, as he had overused the department required for speech.
I was perturbed by the chutzpah of this chap. But everyone seemed to be impressed, and the row at the back decided to break out in cacophony of violent remarks about the shhhip offender, which made me tremble slightly. Lorraine was already under the seat.
I was perturbed by the chutzpah of this chap. But everyone seemed to be impressed, and the row at the back decided to break out in cacophony of violent remarks about the shhhip offender, which made me tremble slightly. Lorraine was already under the seat.
'Lyyyynch 'im', came a particularly shrill sounding voice from the back. Luckily the fire was doused by the credits rolling on, and a tattooed potter fan with glasses shouted 'POTTEEER' who followed his words by a warning glance to whoever was interesting in following his cat call.
The film finished, I woke up. I shook Lorraine. We sidled out, so as not to be recognized by the zealous Orcs. After strolling around the corner I realised I required, so I calmly informed Lorraine I was going to the toilets, and that no Orcs would kill her whilst I was about my business. As I walked out after finishing my business I recited the after the business prayer; unfortunately as I was doing so, I happened to be staring fixedly into a tattooed guy who, immediately recognizing a hex, impulsively reached for his wand.
The film finished, I woke up. I shook Lorraine. We sidled out, so as not to be recognized by the zealous Orcs. After strolling around the corner I realised I required, so I calmly informed Lorraine I was going to the toilets, and that no Orcs would kill her whilst I was about my business. As I walked out after finishing my business I recited the after the business prayer; unfortunately as I was doing so, I happened to be staring fixedly into a tattooed guy who, immediately recognizing a hex, impulsively reached for his wand.
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